I realize that since I grew up being reprimanded for reasoning and questioning our family dysfunction, I learned not to trust my God-given discernment. My family would even get so mad at me for questioning our family dysfunction that they would tell me I was imagining things. If that’s not a concoction for cultism I don’t know what is!! No wonder I went from cult to cult, trying to pass off my discernment as just my imagination!
I remember for years I had to play dumb around my family so they wouldn’t hate me (they’d never call it that of course). Because my insight threatened our family facade. But over the years I’ve been able to lean on God more so that their hate no longer hurts (not as much anyway). I’ve had to just submit to their judgment and hatefulness toward me because I realize I can’t ever earn their love or approval.
Thankfully I don’t even care anymore about what they think of me. If I still tried to please people I would no longer be a servant of the Lord. I’m only concerned now with God’s approval and I know I can’t earn that either. I look for His grace and mercy instead. And I also realize that only God can cause my family to love me biblically. Perhaps God wanted me to be afflicted, so that I would have no choice but to lean on Him. Besides, He has worked it all out for my good!! And He gave me the ability to forgive my family!!!
I can truly say with the psalmist David “It is good that I was afflicted, so that I could learn God’s statutes” Psalm 119: 71
8 thoughts on “Dysfunctional Discernment”
very much my experience too. if i questioned anything, my ability to judge was always questioned instead.
Hi Lynnieha, did you also experience the same occurence in church, as a result of learning to doubt your discernment early in life?
yes, in church… that’s what i was referring to, sorry if that wasn’t clear. 🙂 my church always discounted my concerns as being relics of my past and something that could be brushed aside without examination.
at home AND at church… im not making sense today 😛
This is typical of abusive churches. Many times, a dysfunctional church will even remind us of our dysfunctional past. Also a typical pattern of our fallen nature.
Hope you don’t mind me asking,—-Were you in a Word of Faith church at one time? Or some other cult?
my family-of-origin was cultic. the church i recently left was somewhat dysfunctional, mostly on a doctrinal/leadership level, but i would greatly hesitate to use the word abusive.
All I can say is ditto to the above, including the comments and a big Amen. Great article,once again. Very helpful in putting things into perspective. Usually discernment doesn’t come in the form of warm and fuzzy and always questions or makes a statement that requires a response ……there in lies the threat…… God bless you.
We have remember to keep our minds active—-in God’s word. Besides, God is the one who has given us the ability to reason—-to think, think, think—-biblically! By His Holy Spirit we can have our minds renewed and transformed by His word, rather than conformed to the world.
I’m so thankful for that! And thankful it is a threat to Satan!